Sunrise
by odalys-ortiz
Summary: Reese and Carter finally have a chance to just talk to one another after the events at Rikers. Takes place directly after the events in Proteus. Careese as always and I'm not sorry for it.


Disclaimer: Not mine unfortunately. This is a nice form of therapy for how crappy Reese is being treated on the show.

* * *

Sunrise

She had to talk to him. That one thought was eating away at her as she watched John's silhouette at the edge of the island's shore, watching as the waves broke. The storm had died down hours ago and everyone that had been stranded were trying to get their bearings after everything that had happened.

She found herself outside the building after she talked with Cal. Even though they had reconciled, she knew that she couldn't continue to see him. Even though he was a trustworthy man, the way he acted convinced her that she didn't know him as well as she thought. He had helped her with this case and saved her life last night. There was no question that he would be there for her, but she didn't want to take their relationship any further.

Seeing John confirmed her reasons to an extent.

"So Joss, you ready to head out?" Cal asked when he followed her out of the building. She didn't know it, but he had been watching her from inside.

"Actually, let me do something really quick."

"Okay, I'll be right here."

She nodded her appreciation and then made her way towards the man on the beach. She could feel Cal's eyes on her, the question in his mind apparent. In all honesty, she didn't care anymore about anything but John. She admitted to herself after those first two weeks of silence that she had missed him despite how much he annoyed her with his vigilante work.

"Hey stranger," she greeted as she got within earshot.

"Hey yourself," he responded, turning his head to her.

Once she joined him, she pulled the collar of her jacket up to shield her face from the cool air of the ocean.

"How's Finch doing?" Joss hadn't seen him for some time.

"He's doing alright considering that he had an encounter with a dangerous serial killer. Thanks for looking out for him, by the way." John needed to show his appreciation to her. The fact that Finch mattered to her as much as he did to him was a comforting thought considering that their relationship had a rocky start.

"What happened with you?"

"Well, I had to deal with that fisherman drug dealer and he sort of got the drop on me when I found the body of the FBI agent in the back of my own car."

"I guess you couldn't help it" she joked, knowing that he wouldn't have let himself be beaten easily. She watched the horizon as the sun began to rise. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw cars beginning to travel back over the bridge. "Looks like everyone is heading back home."

"I bet. I'm surprised that no one got cabin fever while we were stuck here. I'm inclined to get back to New York. There's less of a chance of being stranded by a storm." He then added as an afterthought. "When did you get here Carter?"

"Actually, I got here last night with help from Beecher." She could hear him chuckle.

"You are insane coming out here in that weather." John wouldn't admit it to her but he was happy that she had come.

"Well what else was I suppose to do? I was trying to get in contact with you by radio, but we got cut off. I guess I got worried." She noticed him raise an eyebrow.

"Really, for me?" John wasn't expecting a real answer.

"Not really. It was mostly for Finch when he told me that he was going to follow you. You drag the poor man into some really bad situations, you know." The voice of the mother began to slip through her lighthearted nagging.

"It's what you sign up for by knowing me." He couldn't have really said that before Finch found him. All John had cared about was being alone and ending his life.

"I guess. So what are you going to do when you get back?" Joss shifted her weight a bit.

He shrugged his shoulders. "Probably just get cleaned up and wait for Finch to give me another number. It would be nice if I have the courtesy of having a day off like a normal person."

"I sometimes forget that you don't have a normal day job." She looked back behind her. Joss noticed that Cal was looking in their direction. He feigned inattention by turning his head to avoid her gaze. She knew that he would have some questions when they got back to the city, but he didn't have to know, so she wasn't worried. "Unfortunately I do, so I have to head back since the local authorities are handling everything."

Instead of moving back inland, Joss took a step closer to him. Seeing what she was doing, John turned to face his body to her. His head was cocked slightly as he watched her reach for his right hand. When she took it, he immediately squeezed it gently. It was then that he was reminded again of what had happened between them. "It's good to see you again Joss" he said, smiling gently at her.

She returned the gesture. "Same here John. Let's talk more when we get back to the city okay?" She truly wanted to reestablish their friendship now that they were finally in the same place with each other. Joss had such a tough time reaching him. John hadn't answered when she tried to call him with the burner phone he gave her.

"You have my number."

"Unfortunately" she joked. Reluctantly she released her grip, noticing the disappointment on his face briefly before he shut it away. Standing still another second, she turned and began to walk off without another word. After a few steps, she turned around and waved to John who returned the gesture. She then continued back to meet up with Cal.

* * *

After going over the details of the case with the local authorities, Cal and Joss were finally able leave the island. After talking with John, Joss felt a bit more relaxed, the tension that had built up over the last few weeks washed away the second she looked into his warm blue eyes. She tried not to be blatant about it with Cal watching her when she got back to him, but she had been very quiet since they got in his car.

As he drove back to the city, all she did was look out at the scenery before her. She thought back to when they were driving to the island, to the heated conversation that they had which had Joss pulling out her gun for protection. She had been worried for her safety with a man that she thought she cared about.

"You alright over there Joss?" Cal asked. The atmosphere had pretty much consisted of the sound of the engine with the occasional sounds of the wipers because some light rain had begun falling.

"I'm fine. I just want to head back home already and just drop into bed. All that crap on the island has me worn out." Joss gave him a direct reply, not in the mood for any more arguments with Cal.

He glanced over at her on occasion. "I was just wondering because you've been really quiet since we left."

She looked at him. "There isn't really much to say." She can see his expression change despite the fact there was little light inside the car.

"Between us you mean. You had plenty to say to that guy on the beach."

"Where did that come from? Besides, that's different Cal. He's a good friend that I haven't seen in a while." She knew that she had to be careful. She understood that as a detective, Cal would have a line of questions and she had to be sure to keep John's identity a secret from him.

"Really? I didn't know you talked with guys like him." His eyes stayed on the road.

Joss's eyebrow twitched up in slight annoyance. "What do you mean 'like him'?"

"You know, the rich white guys. I honestly couldn't imagine you being friends with someone like that." Cal gripped the steering well a bit tighter.

"It's not what it looks like Cal. Maybe you should try to look at the bigger picture instead of acting so shallow." Joss was dumbfounded as to how Cal could think what he was thinking. She must have not known him as well as she thought.

"Hey I didn't mean anything by it. I just wanted to know since you were getting a little close with the guy. Is he an ex or something?"

She grew a bit angry that he had the nerve to bring it up. "Next time you want to try to eavesdrop on a conversation, don't try to act so hard like you aren't. If you have a problem with who I'm friends with, then that's your business. It's not like I have to answer to you like you're my father."

"Well it is my business when my girlfriend is involved."

"More like your ex-girlfriend." She saw him struggle to keep the car on the road once the words left her mouth.

"Joss…you don't really mean that do you? I thought we talked about it back there." Cal's voice changed. It seemed more desperate, quite the opposite from his accusing one from earlier.

"We did and I've decided that I want us to just be friends. I just can't be with a guy who has your anger issues. The way you acted when we were on our way to the island showed me that." Joss was not only thinking about her safety but Taylor's too.

"I'm sorry Joss. You have to understand that I didn't mean to do that."

"Well obviously that's what I mean. You need help with that because that was uncalled for. I'm not going to bring that type of attitude near my son. You could have just told me that I was wrong in the things that I said Cal. Instead you sped up in a rain storm. You could have crashed the car and hurt me. What kind of a boyfriend does that?" Joss couldn't help her anger now.

"I don't know what to tell you to get you to forgive me." Cal's voice cracked a bit with his plea.

"I've already forgiven you Cal. It's just that I don't think that we can do this anymore." Joss wouldn't hold a grudge. It wasn't like her to do it for very long. She only hoped that he wouldn't take this the wrong way.

"Joss…"

"I'm sorry. Can we just not talk about this anymore?" She saw him grip the steering wheel even tighter, his knuckles beginning to turn a bit white.

"Yeah sure" he said simply. The rest of the ride was quiet after that.

* * *

Joss was dropped off at her brownstone apartment about an hour later. When she got out of the car, Cal just took off without so much as a goodbye. She just shrugged it off as him still being upset about things changing between them and went on upstairs.

On her way out of town, she had dropped Taylor off at her mother's house until tomorrow so the place was dead quiet when she opened the door. Lazily dropping her coat on the rack next to the door, she removed her badge and gun to put them on the table near by. Joss made a beeline to the bathroom so she could get cleaned up and get warmer.

A few minutes and quite a bit of hot water later, Joss emerged from the bathroom while towel drying her hair. She changed into a peach colored tanktop and some black drawstring shorts. She dropped the towel in a hamper that she passed by then made her way to the kitchen.

On the island counter, she spotted the burner phone that she left completely abandoned in her haste to gather her things before she met up with Cal. It looked so wrong to her to have it just sit there unused. Despite not hearing from John for the last couple of days, she kept the phone nearby. It was silly of her to admit but she would hope that it was him and not Finch on the other end when she heard it ring.

Needing to unwind and derail her train of thought, Joss dug into her fridge to grab a beer. While taking a sip, she noticed the pitter patter of rain hitting her window, probably an after effect of the storm passing through the coast. She was glad that she had gotten indoors. She was soaked enough from the island as it was.

Joss began to fiddle around with the phone just as she had many times before, passing it between her hands. Joss thought back to what she did today from going to the island to talking with John. Did she make the right choice by not jumping back into a relationship with Cal? She told him that she didn't want her son exposed to his anger issues. Maybe she was just making excuses.

The more she thought about it, the more she realized that it wasn't the only reason to turn him down. She had asked for his help and wanted to at least be professional with him. Despite the fact that they had discussed it, she never had intended on moving forward with their relationship.

Seeing John brought a bit of relief to her world. Even though there was a lack of communication between the two of them, she would wonder occasionally how he was. Just talking to him today allowed her to smile for the first time in what must have been weeks. It was just being near him that made her day better because she was glad to find out that he was alright.

Getting cut off while trying to reach him on the radio had left her needing to get through the storm to him, no matter how dangerous it was for her. She would go to the ends of the Earth to be near a dangerous vigilante rather then try to mend a relationship with a stable detective who obviously cared about her; but there was no changing what the heart wanted.

Right now, Joss's heart wanted to hear his voice.

Looking through the list of contacts, she auto-dialed the familiar number. Joss put the phone to her ear and on the first ring, he answered, much to her surprise. From the way it sounded, his voice seemed a bit happier. Looks like she wasn't the only one that was glad she called.

"Hello Detective."

She sighed silently, allowing the soothing effect of his voice to flow through her body. "Do you ever take out that damn earwig John?" As if nothing changed, the banter began anew.

"Only when I take a shower. You never know when Finch is going to have me working on another number. So I take it you made it back alright?" John returned in kind. The games would never cease between them.

Joss now began to nurse the beer, losing herself in the conversation with John. "Yup, I got cleaned up and noticed that the storm reached here. What about you?"

"I got home a few minutes ago and just finished drying off when you called. Is something you need help with?" John would love to see the expression on her face right now.

"Not really, this is more of a personal call then anything." Did she really tell him that? She could just smack herself right now for sounding like an idiot. Maybe that earlier comment messed up a few brain cells. "If I am bugging you or taking you away from your illegal activities, I can hang up."

"You don't have to do that Carter. I'm just surprised that you aren't spending some quiet time with Detective Beecher." John was joking of course but Joss couldn't see his face change to one of anger for the detective that had decided to date her.

She shrugged her shoulders to herself. "Nope, it's just little old me tonight. Taylor is with his grandmother since I decided to go to the island and didn't want him home alone."

"It wouldn't be because Beecher had a problem with us talking, did it?" He wanted to take the nonchalant approach to the top, hoping he didn't overstep their boundaries.

"So you saw it too then?" She shouldn't have been surprised. John was quite the observant person.

"How could I not? It doesn't take a genius to see that he had a problem with me." John usually didn't worry about the dirty looks from other men; he had become accustomed to it years ago. He was aware of how women took to him and he would usually just ignore it of course.

"It's more like he was still upset with me." Joss admitted. It felt so natural to open up to him. There was something about John that would have her wanting to tell him all her secrets, not like she would. She never really felt like that with Cal.

"What do you mean?" John's ears perked up, noting the small inflection in her voice.

Joss could hear rustling in the background and figured he was getting comfortable on his couch or bed. "Well we had a bit of a disagreement in the car on the way to the island."

"Really, about…" John couldn't help but pry. If she didn't want to talk about this anymore, she could stop at any time.

"Finch told you about the FBI offering me a job right?" Of course he knew. How could he not? Despite how many times she warned John about poking around in her private matters; Joss had told Finch about the job which would have gotten back to John.

"Yeah, he also told me what happened. I'm really sorry." Even though they weren't talking, John understood how important the opportunity would have been for her. It reminded him of when he had gotten the offer to join the CIA, even though he came to regret his decision later on.

She shook her head as she decided to have a seat on her own couch, relaxing a bit when her body hit the cushions. "It wasn't either of your faults, despite your very long list of crimes John."

"Then what was it? Carter you are the most decorated detective at your precinct. They have no reason to turn you down." He imagined Joss smiling at his praise, but John was only telling the truth.

"Well apparently Cal was being investigated for something in his precinct. No one could really tell me anything so I asked him. He became defensive and even angry to the point that I pulled out my gun in case I had to shoot him." On her end, she could hear his breath hitch ever so slightly.

"Joss, do you remember what I said before about making sure that he was taking care of you?" John's voice grew dark. She didn't deserve any of the crap that she got. Cal would suffer his wrath if Joss let him.

"I remember. Can you please not do anything too drastic since I can't talk you out of it?" She was shocked with herself. Even though John would know that she wasn't serious, a tiny bit of her hoped that John would seek Cal out for her.

"If I had a couple of words with him, would that make you feel better?" The bed dipped further as John pushed himself into the headboard.

She found herself laughing for the first time in what seemed like ages. "And what, pray tell, would that translate to in John Reese language?"

The weather outside picked up a bit. John's attention was drawn to the plate glass windows where he could hear the increasing tapping of water. "It would mean exactly how it sounds Carter. I would just give him a small warning to not do anything to hurt you again."

Joss's head shook in disbelief. "Of course that's what it means. Cal and I are going to stay friends but I just don't think I can catch a break. I mean when I lost you…" Her mouth clamped up before any more words could escape it. Instead of leaving it there, Joss kept going, feeling a bit more vulnerable. "When you disappeared, I thought that maybe Cal could be there like you did for me. I realized that wasn't going to happen. John…"

He gripped the phone a bit tighter when her voice softened on the other end. John had known that she was searching for him but didn't allow her to find him for fear of hurting her after happened in the DOD facility. Joss was ready to throw everything away just to help him. She had more to live for than he ever could, while John was just another guy that was trying to live day by day.

The silence grew deafening to the point that Joss figured she made a mistake telling him. He wasn't ready to talk about things between them. Her heart clench at the thought of this being the last time she would hear from him. "Look, I'm sorry. I just thought…"

"No Joss, don't be sorry" he interrupted. John could tell from her words that she was planning on hanging up. He was being a fool. "Things had gotten weird for me and I needed some time to figure it all out."

Joss's ears perked up when he spoke. "What the hell got weird? I just wanted to help you like you've helped me John."

He shook his head, disagreeing with her. "Nothing could compare to what you've done for me Joss." John's voice dropped a bit, conveying his words to her through the phone. "You've done a lot of things Joss, not just for us but for the community. You are a good person and someone that this world can't lose. The fact that you were willing to risk your life for me made me wonder what I was worth to make you throw it all away. I didn't want to see you get hurt so I stayed away."

"Always the protector huh, John?" Joss should have figured it was all about protecting her. She was mostly hurt because he didn't just explain it to her. "You could have just told me. Instead you just disappeared and I never heard from you. I always talked to Finch, asking him how you were doing since the incident."

That was news to him. John didn't know that Finch had been feeding Carter status reports on him. Guess that explains why she seemed so calm when he saw her earlier. "I really need to have a chat with Finch in the morning." This brought out a small giggle on her end, a sound that he found himself wanting to hear again.

"Needless to say John, I'm still working with you despite the threat to my career. Don't give me that whole bit about 'doing it for my own good' okay?" Joss set her beer on the coffee table and took a strand of hair between her fingers to fiddle with it and distract herself. She held the phone closer to her ear with her shoulder, hoping to convey her next words to him. "John, I'm not a kid that you can just lock away in the closet when bad things happen. I can take care of myself and have done so for years before you showed up. Doing that just hurt me in the end."

If John had the power, he would have kneecapped himself for being such a fool. Hearing Joss's words brought everything into perspective and he knew that she was right. He had been so focused on protecting her that he didn't think about her feelings. "I know that Joss. I just couldn't think of anything else to do. You almost lost your life because of Kara. It would have crushed me if I lost everything that I had rebuilt. It would have been just like back then, with Jessica."

"John, I'm still here remember. Nothing happened to me because of your partner. Yes Donnelly was killed in the process but that wasn't your fault either. You have to get it through your thick skull that you can't take care of everyone no matter how hard you try." Joss let out an exasperated sigh. "I swear you'll tire yourself out with doing what you should leave to other people."

John took her words to heart. "Yeah, I just can't help it."

"You better figure it out if you don't want your ass kicked" Joss threatened with her usual spunk causing John to smile. "Seriously though John, can we just get past this whole thing? I sort of miss nagging you about your illegal activities."

"Well I have to say Detective that I have started to become quite fond of you hassling me the way you do." He was happy to begin the flirting again. Once again, he heard her small giggle, causing him to smile. John wished that he could be there with her right now, hearing that sound over and over again. For now, he would settle for this.

"John?" She asked, suddenly feeling a bit more timid than she was used to. Joss hadn't felt vulnerable in a while, not since the incident.

"Yeah Joss?"

"We're okay now right? No more of this 'have to stay away from me for my own good' crap right?" Her voice dropped significantly as she said the last part, doing her best to mimic him which of course earned a chuckle.

"We're okay. You wanna meet up tomorrow to talk about our next case. I'm sure that Finch will get one before the morning coffee kicks in."

Joss's hair was now threaded through her fingers, just allowing herself to be enthralled by the voice on the other end. Cal couldn't make her feel like this. Sometimes their conversations had her wishing that they would hurry up and end. With John, she didn't want to stop. However, the events on the island finally caught up to her and she couldn't stifle the yawn that escaped her.

"Go to sleep Joss, I'll be right here if you need me. I'm not going anywhere now." John felt like an idiot for blowing things out of proportion the way he did. There was no way he could have stayed away from Joss without her getting in trouble anyway, her job saw to that. All he could do was do his best to watch out for her, not to babysit her.

Instead of replying back, Joss just yawned her thanks before John heard her steady breathing over the line. He smiled, knowing that he could shut off her burner phone when he grew tired himself. John thought that he heard her whisper something but couldn't make out what. His body relaxed further and knew that he would have to turn in for the night.

"Sweet dreams Joss" he murmured softly as to not wake her before powering everything down before turning in, happy to welcome the new day.

* * *

A/N: I want to thank SWWoman for being an awesome beta without this. I have to say if it wasn't for you and other fans of this shipper, I probably would have stopped writing ages ago. Now as a warning before I forget, if I don't reply to any reviews immediately, I apologize in advance. Money has been tight so I will be losing internet for a while starting Monday or Tuesday. Don't worry though, the second things get better, I will be back :D


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